What is real self-love? Has it become the next cliché?
Alright, my friends, let’s get a little raw and honest here about real self love. I have a little bone to pick with those throwing around self love like it’s the latest trendy word. “Your life sucks?” Go buy yourself some flowers and love yourself more. “Feeling overwhelmed?” Go take a bubble back and love yourself more. Has self love become one of the latest buzz words that takes care of all of your problems, similar to what I had previously wrote about meditation in this post?
A simple online search confirms my gripe about real self love!
I did a simple google search for practices of self love and these were some of the results that the search yielded:
- Buy yourself fresh flowers.
- Clean your house or apartment.
- Organize your workspace and files.
- Take time for rest and relaxation.
- Wear red lipstick and heels just because it’s a Tuesday. (Yes…this was a real practice.)
- Clean out your closet.
While I agree these are all great suggestions for reducing stress and having some relaxation, are they really self love practices? Can anyone provide me just one example of how any of the above would actually increase the love you have for yourself?
5 Real Self Love practices that actually lead to loving yourself
Are you ready to explore 5 real self love practices that actually lead to loving yourself? I don’t have the magic pill for you; however, these simple practices may provide you with your next steps of self discovery and permission to wholeheartedly love yourself.
1. Commitment to yourself each morning, every day.
First, let’s look at how you are starting the day. There are a million, okay maybe a thousand books on morning practices and how effective they are for changing the trajectory of your day. While I fully agree that a morning routine is vital for success, I would like offer one simple thing you can do for yourself each day to bring focus to yourself.
Before you take on the day, look in the mirror directly into your eyes and repeat “Today I choose to love and honor me.” I’ll admit, your ego may appear the first few times and ask you what the hell you are doing. Kindly remind ego, that you are worth it. As you commit to this each day, that little voice of unworthiness will get softer and quieter.
You’ve heard the phrase “eyes are the window to the soul?” I believe that as you commit to this practice, you will see the beauty and love of your soul. You will begin to look past the physical appearance of yourself and truly see the love that you are.
2. Setting Daily Intentions of Self Awareness
Second, take a moment each day to set at least one daily intention for self awareness. Examples could be:
❤️️Today I will be present. If I find myself worrying about the future or the past, I will, without judgment, center myself to the present moment.
❤️️Today I will be aware of my self talk. Lovingly guide yourself back to positive self talk in the moments you begin to talk negatively about yourself.
❤️️Today I will focus on my strengths rather than my weaknesses.
The goal of these self awareness intentions is to become more mindful of how you are showing up for yourself each day. Additionally, it is important to not judge or shame yourself when you fall short of your intention.
3. Create a foundation of gratitude to create real self love
Next, let’s consider creating a foundation of gratitude. This isn’t simply writing what you are grateful for in your journal. While that may be part of your practice, the objective here is begin living from that space of gratitude. This concept is explored in greater depth in the free 30 Day Self Love Commitment.
4. Question the possibilities
Continuing on to our next suggestion on creating real self love, let’s look at exploring life through possibilities rather than impossibilities.
I’m open for possibilities. I’m open for choices. I always welcome new ideas. I’m always eager to learn. I’m never going to close my mind from learning.
Now, how is this related to self love? As you begin to explore all that you are capable of, you will realize that your potential is limitless and therefore YOU are limitless. Possibilities are endless if we choose to see them that way. Conversely, when we see life through what is impossible, we begin to doubt and shame ourselves.
Therefore, when you get into a space of self-doubt, choose to question the possibilities. Ask yourself, “what is possible?” and choose to take the next steps towards creating that.
5. When do you apologize for being yourself?
Finally, let’s reflect on when you apologize for being yourself. The parts of yourself that you are hiding from the world are the ones that deserve to be known. May I repeat? The parts of yourself that you are hiding from the world are the ones that deserve to be known.
Take a few minutes to reflect on when you apologize for being yourself. Maybe you apologize for being too outspoken. How about the apologies for taking up space? “Oh I’m sorry, was I in your way?” Or, have you apologized for being too loud, too sensitive, too emotional, too ::insert your thing here::? Check out this short podcast that explains this concept so well.
Trust me, I’ve apologized way too many times for myself; however, as I learned to shed light on those parts of me, I realized that they are my greatest gifts and deserve to be shared.
Take time to notice your “too much’s.” Stop apologizing and begin embracing these gifts of yours.
Final thoughts on real self love
Did this resonate with you?
I don’t have the answers for you; however, I do have a 30 day self love commitment where you can rediscover parts of you that you may have neglected. It’s free and available to you today! My invitation to you is take on this commitment for yourself. You are worth all the love that you already are, but there is commitment involved in the beginning. Once you create the habit of awareness, the layers will continue to unravel and you will rediscover the pure essence of who you are at the core of your being.
What tips do you have for real self love? Share them here!